Photo by Vincent Yuan, Unsplash
Photo by Vincent Yuan, Unsplash
There are many ways to view the Grinchy fact that our president-elect and his new owner are aiming to ruin the holidays for hundreds of thousands. But this poetic adaptation is probably the best.
Republished with permission from Lucian K. Truscott IV
‘Twas the night before shutdown, when all through the House
Not a member was stirring, not even a mouse
The funding bill was hung around everyone’s neck with care,
In hopes that a solution would soon be there;
Republicans were nestled all snug under Trump’s wing
While visions of cutting kids lunch money they all did all sing;
And Trump in his comb-over and Musk with his rocket
Had just settled in for tax cuts on the docket
When over the Capitol steps there rose a full moon
Under it were Democrats singing a different tune
Away to his X Musk flew like a flash
To list government programs he wanted to trash
Trump soon joined in with a post on Truth Social
Lies flying everywhere, boy was he boastful
When what to his lying eyes did appear
But Nancy Pelosi ready to interfere
Trump posted quickly without a glitch
I thought you broke your hip, you old commie witch
I made a special trip, Nancy called, my vote is in need
To ensure your raid on democracy will not succeed
And she whistled and shouted and called them by name
Now Jeffries, now Lieu, now Clark and Judy Chu!
Come Gallego, come Swalwell, come Lee and Eshoo!
Here Loftgren, here Shiff, and Sherman and Stanton
On Moulton, on Omar, on Davis, and Landsman!
To the House floor! To stand up and stand tall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
Tiny hooves of Republicans, every one a frightened goof
They were awaiting instructions from Johnson or Musk
Or from Trump something more threatening and brusque
Vote with me, vote with me, vote with me now!
Trump thundered as before him Republicans did cowe
But not Nancy or Eric or Zoe or Tony
Or Adam or Maxine or Debbie or Nikki
Not Jared or Glenn or Steny or Kweisi
Or Debbie or Rashida or Ilhan or Shiri
Not Benny or Andy or Josh or Jerrold
Not Alexandria or Ritchie or Dan or Jamaal
Democrats stood together, their hearts full of merry
They looked upon Donald as not at all scary
And about Elon they were very contrary
We will stand against you forever, the Dems all did shout
That’s not what our party or our country is about
So bring on your scare tactics and bring on your fear
We have principles and a Constitution that we hold dear
Billionaires, millionaires, scoundrels and thieves
We’ll pass over your rooftops and under your eaves
You’ll not get our votes or our respect or our help
Not with Trump and with Musk continuing to yelp
Sounding like Orban and Putin and worse
Oh, how those men and their fascism we do curse!
Away from our democracy we refuse to veer
So be gone with you, it’s Christmas, a time of good cheer
And I heard Hakeem exclaim, as Dems flew out of sight
We’ll be back in January with all our might
To work for democracy and all that is right
And for this year and next, to all a good night!
Lucian K. Truscott IV, a graduate of West Point, has had a 50-year career as a journalist, novelist and screenwriter. He has covered stories such as Watergate, the Stonewall riots and wars in Lebanon, Iraq and Afghanistan. He is also the author of five bestselling novels and several unsuccessful motion pictures. He has three children, lives in rural Pennsylvania and spends his time Worrying About the State of Our Nation and madly scribbling in a so-far fruitless attempt to Make Things Better.
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