One of the more annoying and often hilarious habits on the far right is connecting disparate news items together to create a conspiracy theory. A fun activity for all concerned unless people then mistake the resulting theory for a fact—which is usually the result in the far rights “hive mind” way of thinking.

But connecting news items to create a crazy idea can also be an enjoyable creative pursuit, which we will engage in here.

Let’s start with a few items. Front and center we have Donald Trump deciding to do a news conference from his Mar-a-Lago “headquarters.” As has been commented on by many outlets and writers, he’s making even less sense than usual and is purely making up stuff off the top of his head. Not much of a surprise to people who have been cringingly listening to him these many years. The people likely grimacing the most are his campaign staff.

Next we have his association with wannabe Martian, Elon Musk. Among Musk’s business is the one called Neuralink which makes implantable computer-brain interfaces. The Neuralink pitch is “Our brain-computer interface is fully implantable, cosmetically invisible, and designed to let you control a computer or mobile device anywhere you go.”

Here’s where we get to step off into speculation: “What if the Neuralink chip set works in reverse?” You know, where the computer controls the wearer? Enter the Twilight Zone. Or maybe the Borg.

And from here we can go a lot of places but basically if you’ve got a chip you’ve gotta have software. Computer hardware is merely a hood ornament without software to run it. So if you want a brain chip to run a “person” what do you use? If you guessed AI software go to the head of the class!

There are many stories out about how artificial intelligence “Large Language Models” or LLMs can seem astoundingly human in their behavior. They are however just software, no matter the hype. LLMs like ChatGPT4 can renders some astonishingly complex and accurate analysis of material with spot-on correctness.

However, there are also plenty of stories out about LLMs exhibiting behaviors that are best described as hallucinations. According to IBM, “often a generative AI chatbot or computer vision tool—perceives patterns or objects that are nonexistent or imperceptible to human observers, creating outputs that are nonsensical or altogether inaccurate.”

So, with this string of disrelated facts we can put forth the premise that whatever LLM might be tied into Trump’s brain, it is spewing out some fabulous fabrications, even for him. So if this is the case what’s the solution? Plug him in and download a software update? Make sure his pocket WiFi is connecting properly. Maybe his 3 am “truth” postings are just him being bored while being plugged in to recharge.

Of course, the very idea of Trump’s mouth actually being run by a malfunctioning AI is just made up hyperbole. Or is it?