Florida Phoenix

The Rage of DeSantis Is the Real Problem in Florida Government

The Rage of DeSantis Is the Real Problem in Florida Government

DeSantis was always a rage-hampered little man, but now that he’s been humiliated on the national stage and his presidential aspirations squashed like a palmetto bug, he’s only gotten angrier. And he’s taking it out on Florida.
The Republican Party’s Female Trouble

The Republican Party’s Female Trouble

The Party of Misogyny (you know them as Republicans) simply cannot process the possibility a woman, a chick, a human with a vajayjay! might become the most powerful person on the planet.
Think Republicans Are Weird? Welcome to the Weird Olympics

Think Republicans Are Weird? Welcome to the Weird Olympics

Contestants in the Weird Olympics will be scored on the shortness of time they hold ideological positions, a position’s outlandishness and the aesthetics of its total illogicality. Judges give bonus scores for bald-faced lying.
The Kamala Harris Factor Is Freaking Out the MAGA Right

The Kamala Harris Factor Is Freaking Out the MAGA Right

Donald Trump, blindsided by Joe Biden’s decision to pass the torch, and suffering buyer’s remorse over the weird dude he chose as a running mate, is just one hissy fit away from saying the quiet part out loud at a rally.
Donald Trump Negotiates the Ten Commandments with God

Donald Trump Negotiates the Ten Commandments with God

I got on to God and said, OK, sure, don’t commit adultery, but shouldn’t there be some amendments, like what if your wife just had a baby, and some hot porn star who looks like your very voluptuous daughter is ready and willing?