Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
You have Successfully Subscribed!
To ignore a narcissist, or to try to assuage them, or to try to “reason” with them is to empower them. You have to grab the bull by the horns and deal with them.
Back in the late ‘80s, I was rudely introduced to the true meaning of narcissism when one ran me over like a runaway train. Up until then, all I knew of narcissism was the Greek myth; some dude who fell in love with himself. It took me several months to figure out what I was dealing with, because I’d never experienced anyone or anything like that before.
That ended up becoming the most traumatic, and ultimately the most triumphant episode of my life. It also taught me how to fight.
Now that the world has dealt with one at the highest levels for nearly a decade, we all know that narcissists are a lot more complex than just conceit on steroids. They are inherently dangerous by their very nature. And they can’t be “fixed.” They are what they are.
My experience was with a boss I had; a boss who I was personally instrumental in helping to ascend to her position. But once there, it was like I was watching Donald Trump through a time portal. The lying, the manipulation, the gaslighting, the vindictiveness, the dishonesty. The evil. I didn’t know people like that existed.
For nearly a year after her initial attack, I floundered. I was off-balance. I tried going over her head, I tried reason, I tried just laying low to stay under her radar, all to no avail. Once they have you in their sights, they won’t let up. As Jim Comey, John Brennan, Letitia James, John Bolton, etc., can attest. The narcissist’s absolute NEED for revenge consumes them.
In my case, what saved me was when I sued. I sued the company for allowing and covering up a civil rights violation she was a party to, and I named her as a defendant. Within months of that filing, my tormentor was unemployed.
The moral of the story is this: You cannot ignore the narcissist. You CANNOT. To ignore them, or to try to assuage them, or to try to “reason” with them is to empower them. You have to grab the bull by the horns and deal with them. Even if it means you’ll have to sacrifice something yourself. As Adam Kinzinger and Liz Cheney did.
And going back a bit farther, Paul Ryan. After a rocky start to their working relationship, Ryan read several books about dealing with narcissists, which led him to (correctly) conclude that his best option was to quit the Speakership and quit Congress altogether. That was probably the wisest decision he ever made.
I watch the Democratic leadership trying to deal with this monster. Some of them get it, some of them are just figuring it out, some of them never will. The never-wills are the ones who still believe they can get him to compromise on their terms. Never. It’s got to be on the narcissist’s terms, or at least to his/her clear advantage. They view anything less as beneath their dignity—such as it is.
There are a few who are taking the fight to him though. Gavin Newsom, AOC and JB Pritzker to name a few. Maybe it’s due to personal political aspirations or maybe it’s because they’ve dealt with his kind before, I don’t know. But they’ve managed to suppress their fear of retaliation in favor of exposing who and what he is.
IMHO, that’s the element that the Democrats need more of going into 2026: raw courage. The willingness to fight the hard fight.
Because clearly, trying to deal with this maniac as if he’s merely the leader of the opposition party hasn’t worked. It’s past time to fight as if the very existence of this nation is at stake.
Because it is.
Bruce Lindner
Honorary crash test dummy for Hammocks R Us, intrepid toxicity tester for Laphroaig Distillery, mobile Javaslinger, moonshiner in training, part time writer, part time foodie, part time flirt, ponderer of all things Cosmic, hot sauce aficionado, skeptic of conspiracy theorists, challenger of balderdashery, antithetical to all things Trump, Fool Emeritus from Whatsamatta U, three-time champion over corporate evil, downtrodden survivor of the Coulter Wars, psychotic women, cancer, heart disease and my own poor judgement.
{"id":null,"mode":"form","open_style":"in_place","currency_code":"USD","currency_symbol":"$","currency_type":"decimal","blank_flag_url":"https:\/\/factkeepers.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/blank.gif","flag_sprite_url":"https:\/\/factkeepers.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/tip-jar-wp\/\/assets\/images\/flags\/flags.png","default_amount":500,"top_media_type":"none","featured_image_url":false,"featured_embed":"","header_media":null,"file_download_attachment_data":null,"recurring_options_enabled":true,"recurring_options":{"never":{"selected":true,"after_output":"One time only"},"weekly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every week"},"monthly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every month"},"yearly":{"selected":false,"after_output":"Every year"}},"strings":{"current_user_email":"","current_user_name":"","link_text":"Leave a tip","complete_payment_button_error_text":"Check info and try again","payment_verb":"Pay","payment_request_label":"Factkeepers.com","form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","general_server_error":"Something isn't working right at the moment. Please try again.","form_title":"Help Support Factkeepers","form_subtitle":null,"currency_search_text":"Country or Currency here","other_payment_option":"Other payment option","manage_payments_button_text":"Manage your payments","thank_you_message":"Thank you for being a supporter!","payment_confirmation_title":"Factkeepers.com","receipt_title":"Your Receipt","print_receipt":"Print Receipt","email_receipt":"Email Receipt","email_receipt_sending":"Sending receipt...","email_receipt_success":"Email receipt successfully sent","email_receipt_failed":"Email receipt failed to send. Please try again.","receipt_payee":"Paid to","receipt_statement_descriptor":"This will show up on your statement as","receipt_date":"Date","receipt_transaction_id":"Transaction ID","receipt_transaction_amount":"Amount","refund_payer":"Refund from","login":"Log in to manage your payments","manage_payments":"Manage Payments","transactions_title":"Your Transactions","transaction_title":"Transaction Receipt","transaction_period":"Plan Period","arrangements_title":"Your Plans","arrangement_title":"Manage Plan","arrangement_details":"Plan Details","arrangement_id_title":"Plan ID","arrangement_payment_method_title":"Payment Method","arrangement_amount_title":"Plan Amount","arrangement_renewal_title":"Next renewal date","arrangement_action_cancel":"Cancel Plan","arrangement_action_cant_cancel":"Cancelling is currently not available.","arrangement_action_cancel_double":"Are you sure you'd like to cancel?","arrangement_cancelling":"Cancelling Plan...","arrangement_cancelled":"Plan Cancelled","arrangement_failed_to_cancel":"Failed to cancel plan","back_to_plans":"\u2190 Back to Plans","update_payment_method_verb":"Update","sca_auth_description":"Your have a pending renewal payment which requires authorization.","sca_auth_verb":"Authorize renewal payment","sca_authing_verb":"Authorizing payment","sca_authed_verb":"Payment successfully authorized!","sca_auth_failed":"Unable to authorize! Please try again.","login_button_text":"Log in","login_form_has_an_error":"Please check and fix the errors above","uppercase_search":"Search","lowercase_search":"search","uppercase_page":"Page","lowercase_page":"page","uppercase_items":"Items","lowercase_items":"items","uppercase_per":"Per","lowercase_per":"per","uppercase_of":"Of","lowercase_of":"of","back":"Back to plans","zip_code_placeholder":"Zip\/Postal Code","download_file_button_text":"Download File","input_field_instructions":{"tip_amount":{"placeholder_text":"How much would you like to donate? You can change this amount to anything you would like.","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How much would you like to donate? You can change this amount to anything you would like."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How much would you like to donate? You can change this amount to anything you would like."},"invalid_curency":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How much would you like to donate? You can change this amount to anything you would like."}},"recurring":{"placeholder_text":"Recurring","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"How often would you like to donate this?"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"How often would you like to donate this?"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"How often would you like to donate this?"}},"name":{"placeholder_text":"Name on Credit Card","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter the name on your card."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please enter the name on your card."}},"privacy_policy":{"terms_title":"Terms and conditions","terms_body":null,"terms_show_text":"View Terms","terms_hide_text":"Hide Terms","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."},"unchecked":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Please agree to the terms."},"checked":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"I agree to the terms."}},"email":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email address"},"not_an_email_address":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Make sure you have entered a valid email address"}},"note_with_tip":{"placeholder_text":"Your note here...","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"empty":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"not_empty_initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Attach a note to your tip (optional)"},"saving":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Saving note..."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Note successfully saved!"},"error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to save note note at this time. Please try again."}},"email_for_login_code":{"placeholder_text":"Your email address","initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your email to log in."}},"login_code":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"success":{"instruction_type":"success","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"blank":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Check your email and enter the login code."}},"stripe_all_in_one":{"initial":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"empty":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"success":{"instruction_type":"normal","instruction_message":"Enter your credit card details here."},"invalid_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is not a valid credit card number."},"invalid_expiry_month":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration month is invalid."},"invalid_expiry_year":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is invalid."},"invalid_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is invalid."},"incorrect_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incorrect."},"incomplete_number":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card number is incomplete."},"incomplete_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incomplete."},"incomplete_expiry":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration date is incomplete."},"incomplete_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code is incomplete."},"expired_card":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card has expired."},"incorrect_cvc":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's security code is incorrect."},"incorrect_zip":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's zip code failed validation."},"invalid_expiry_year_past":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card's expiration year is in the past"},"card_declined":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The card was declined."},"missing":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"There is no card on a customer that is being charged."},"processing_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"An error occurred while processing the card."},"invalid_request_error":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"Unable to process this payment, please try again or use alternative method."},"invalid_sofort_country":{"instruction_type":"error","instruction_message":"The billing country is not accepted by SOFORT. Please try another country."}}}},"fetched_oembed_html":false}
