Slapping the tacky gold everywhere. Image from Bluesky
Slapping the tacky gold everywhere. Image from Bluesky
Because grifting chutzpah is his nature, and because there’s never enough money to fill the ugly gaping hole where his soul should be, Trump is still running penny-ante scams.
Republished with permission from Common Dreams, by Abby Zimet
Oh man. Same old clown show, awash with boondoggles, each more cringey than the last. As the mad man-child deconstructs DC and slaps his hideous face and name everywhere—historic buildings, fascist arches, garish statues, possibly imaginary gold phones—others have taken his lead with their own patriotic spinoffs. Cue “Fuck You” upgrades, a Strait to Hell arcade for a video-game war, and a Trump/Epstein “Memorial Reading Room” packed with 3.5 million pages of files, where “the truth is hard to deny.”
Trump’s narcissistic vandalizing of D.C.—couldn’t his KKK dad have just hugged him now and then?—is “something dictators have done throughout history,” noted Bernie Sanders of his proposed SERVE Act, or Stop Executive Renaming for Vanity and Ego. Co-sponsored by six Senate Dems, the bill would bar any sitting president from naming federal properties after themselves, an act both “arrogant” and illegal. At this rate many weary Americans would likely argue, “Let the chiseling off begin,” but for now the bill sits in legislative limbo and we’re stuck with the resulting atrocities; they continue to multiply like locusts, even as he’s proposed a $10-billion fund for more “beautification” projects around “the capital of the greatest Nation in the history of the world.”
Though he increasingly nods off in public—or per the White House, blinks—he still clutches at a farcical show of dominance he’s leaned on in the endless self-glorification campaign that is his execrable life. There are posts quoting fictional “fans”: “Remarkable leadership,” “Master of the Deal,” “THE GREATEST PRESIDENT WE HAVE EVER KNOWN.” From the guy who’s “confused the country for his living room,” there’s D.C’s re-branding: the plaques, name changes, razed East Wing for a billion-dollar “albatross“ nobody wants. There are new massive Stalin-esque banners at construction sites proclaiming, ”Thank you, PRESIDENT TRUMP“- ”like Michael Scott buying himself a World’s Best Boss coffee mug“ we paid for—to which unenthused residents added, ”Fuck You Cunt.“
Snug in a delusional bubble where his approval [rating] is def not in the toilet, he feels free to rant, lie, melt down online without consequence. In one manic night, he posts 55 times in three hours: “Arrest Obama the traitor” and “DEMONIC FORCE,” also Hillary, Brennan, Comey, Kelly. Asked how much he thinks about the cost to Americans of his calamitous war, he blurts, “Not even a little bit.” His lackeys follow suit: Ka$h Patel yells, lies, hustles bourbon, pads his stats and takes a “VIP snorkel” in Pearl Harbor around the tomb of 900 U.S. soldiers as Sean Duffy takes his nine offspring on a “patriotic,” seven-month Great American Road Trip filmed for YouTube and complete with “head-spinning” corporate sponsorship, both on the taxpayers’ now-rapidly-shrinking dime.
Meanwhile, another project nobody asked for—draining and repainting the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, aka “reflective pond,” from traditional grey to garish blue—has shockingly veered off course. After boasting his bestest golf course pool painters could easy-peasy do a no-bid, $1.8 million, “smart and beautiful construction” that Dems stupidly opposed—“Dumacrats love sewage”—the cost has soared to $13.1 million, it’s now by a contractor he “did not know and have never used before,” staff are worried the job is behind schedule, with “uneven application” leaving bubbles, holes and “mottled shades of blue” in the pool, and a judge has set a May 21 hearing for a lawsuit charging the project wasn’t properly vetted, ditto a color “more appropriate to a resort or theme park.”
More winning in Miami, where another lawsuit charges three acres of multi-million-dollar waterfront land were illegally grifted by DeSantis to Trump for $10 for his presidential “library,” actually a gaudy hotel with no books but more vitally two gold statues of, you know. They will presumably join in grotesque kinship with the $300,000, crypto-bro-funded, bronze and gold leaf Don Colossus just unveiled at Doral Miami, “where the Republic is currently moldering.“ Before ”a robotic chorus of evangelical functionaries who (have) transformed themselves into the most theologically humiliated cohort in modern memory,“ the statue was honored as, not an idolatrous golden calf, insisted Pastor Mark Burns, but ”a celebration of life“ and symbol of ”the hand of God over (Trump’s) life.“ Definitely not a cult.
Tacky is as tacky does. Bluesky screenshot
Despite being heralded as God’s second favorite son—one who “understands the Scriptures better than the Pope”—Trump is also widely deemed “an economic serial killer” presiding over an “America First Corporate Graveyard,” skyrocketing inflation, national debt, farm bankruptcies, and energy costs, and possibly “the largest single act of grand larceny in American history” with a $10 billion payout by his own DOJ against his own IRS to settle his bullshit lawsuit for their leak of his tax returns, which every other president has released. Still, because grifting chutzpah thy name is, and because there’s never enough money to fill the ugly gaping hole where a soul should be, he’s still running penny-ante scams. Up next: Trump Mobile, “for the forgotten MAGA man.”
Last June, his huckster spawn announced the launch of “a sleek, gold smartphone engineered for performance.” The T1 Phone, “proudly designed and built in the United States,” would be available in August at $499. For almost a year, they urged followers to make $100 “deposits” to “pre-order” the beauties; over half a million did, ponying up about $59 million. Then, the bait and switch. The terms of service quietly changed: The “deposit” provided “a conditional opportunity” to buy if Trump Mobile chose to sell. Pricing, production schedules, shipping costs were “non-binding.” “Made in the USA” became “Proudly American Designed.” “Delivery” dates got pushed back. Unexplained charges appeared. A reporter who called “Customer Service” got “Omega Auto Care.“ To date, no fantasy Trump phones have shipped. Cheap Crooks ‘R Us.
“Service for the forgotten MAGA man” Image from Bluesky
Also, liars. With even neo-cons now deeming the Iran War potentially more of a debacle than Vietnam, the good folks at Secret Handshake, creators of the Trump/Epstein bestie statues, decided that with the regime hyping war like a video game, they might as well turn it into one. Operation Epic Furious: Strait to Hell , which is also online, features three working, arcade video games set up inside DC’s War Memorial; they promise “high-octane, flag-waving, boots-on-the-ground…pure pixelated patriotism,” or, per Hegseth, “laser-focused maximum reps annihilation mission crushing (with) sustained unrelenting pressure.” Battles—by tweet, not gun—pit US forces against “Iranian schoolgirl,” “DEIyatollah,” low-flow shower heads, the Pope and other “threats to American freedom.”
Games open with Trump declaring, “Another big, beautiful day as the best President ever.” Options for the prompt, “Ready to ROCK Iran back to the Stone Ages?” are “Not Yet…” “Yes” and “Hell Yes.” Yells Pete, “Let’s liberate some oil!” Trump can order a Diet Coke or bomb Iran; search for barrels of oil, ideas for Truth Social posts, or endless threats that lead nowhere; he vows to “fight this war and win it by hamburger o’clock.” Melania: “I WAS NEVER ON THE EPSTEIN JET…Did you burn the files yet?” JD, fat-faced: “I love couch.” The only way you can lose is by trying to hold Melania’s hand, which abruptly ends the game; otherwise, it’s impossible to end or win it. Irony never dies: Images have surfaced of bored National Guardsmen—a $1 million a day deployment—playing.
Another piece of protest art brings the truth of “one of the most horrific crimes in American history” to Trump’s hometown. “The Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Reading Room,” in New York’s Tribeca, is a first-of-its-kind, 5,000-square-foot installation containing all the unsealed Epstein files—3.5 million pages printed and bound into 3,437 volumes weighing 17,000 pounds, “a physical, undeniable record of corruption, cover-ups, and crime.” The pop-up project in the Mriya Gallery was created by the non-profit Primary Facts; it took them about a month to print the files. The exhibit is on view through May 21; admission to groups for a one-hour session is free; organizers are raising funds to cover the New York premiere and bring it to other cities.
The Trumpsonian installation is built around a candlelit tribute to Epstein’s more than 1,200 victims and survivors, whose names are all redacted here in closed binders—unlike at the DOJ, where they were badly, only partly redacted, a failure adding insult to injury along with an ongoing, multi-pronged cover-up. The Trump and Epstein Reading Room also includes a timeline documenting the decades-long crimes, legal proceedings and intersections between the two men’s lives, all underlining the criminal absurdity of federal claims “there’s nothing left to investigate.” The vast trove of information, organizers say, is “what 3.5 million pages of evidence looks like.” Trump, as deeply complicit as he is narcissistic, “wanted his name on stuff.” Now, here it is.
Image from Memorial Reading Room. The Trumpsonian
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